UNFAIR

Rant. That’s all I can do now. UGH.

It infuriates the hell out of me when I see my ‘sisters’ with their significant other. Its not because that I don’t have one, the opposite actually. See, we have this significant others from the other network but since we have to focus more on God, we were told to lessen our time with our SOs. No alone time with SO, no taking us home, no nothing except through phone or something. I did that. I lessen my time with my SO. And I miss him so much now that we don’t spend lots of time together. But that’s okay. What’s not okay is when I see my ‘sisters’ with their SO, I see a picture of them together alone OR I JUST SEE THEM TOGETHER PERIOD. And I can’t believe it. They get way with it. I hate it. I wanna rat them out to our leader but I just don’t want to be that girl. So here I am blabbing on about it. I can’t even be with my SO for a minute. I can’t post a picture of us let alone make it a profile picture. I can’t have dates. I can’t have anything. Everyone who might see us together will ask questions and will judge us. But my ‘sisters’? They could do anything. They would. 

The most critical people are in church. 

God, give me love please. 

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musings

I remembered you. I’ve always liked you. You’re funny and you always wore a smile. I remember feeling comfortable with you. But the situation then was we were both hung up on another person. Isn’t it funny? :)

Well now that I noticed you (again), we’re both in that same situation again and well, I know this time, this is the last. I don’t regret anything. :)

I’m glad we’ve been acquainted with each other. Good bye. 

#epiphany

Maybe I’m jealous because she gets to have food or flowers or something given to her everytime she’s in a fight with her boyfriend. But on second thought, I realised I’m not like her. I don’t need “peace offerings”. I’m not that girl. At one point, I pity her boyfriend for always gonna have to buy a certain thing to be forgiven. Yes, that’s sweet and reeks of effort but still. You’d rather have flowers in exchange of a sincere apology? Well personally, I prefer the long conversations I had with my boyfriend, even when its just text messages. I’d rather be surprised by him, coming to my house unannounced so that we can go talk about our problem. I love these conversations because they make us realise how different we are from each other but we similarly want this relationship to last. And that’s why I love my boyfriend so much and I’m grateful at what we are now.

P.S. Hey his-ex, thanks again for giving me another reason to be thankful. ;)

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